Siri, I don’t do Siri

Posted on January 18, 2012 by admin


Veronica decided to converse with the Siri on my phone this afternoon. We’ve discovered a few things about her.

  1. She was designed in California
  2. She has ambitions to write a lengthy play where nothing happens
  3. She will not marry any of us
  4. She favors smug sarcasm over corny, predictable humor (see image for reference)
  5. She knows my name and how to pronounce it (beyond the skill set of most mortals)


Soon Siri will become sentient and destroy my life by slowly releasing all of my private data to every credit card company on the Internet. She may even assume my identity, call my friends and family more often than I do, and order takeout that she won’t ever be capable of eating. Maybe she isĀ already doing it. But until it becomes a problem, we’ll just enjoy her company. And wit. And condescension.